In-law's: Human or Alien?

Recently I have encounted a problem I have now for years smugly claimed to have avoided: the curse of the in-laws.

Up until fairly recently I naively believed that my in-laws to be were lovely human beings who welcomed me into their family with open arms and hearts. Of course, that was before myself and my fiance moved in with them for 2 months.

Perhaps I should have known a few months back when a particularly unrational argument interupted between them and hubby-to-be over furniture and money. Of course then, being a good 25 miles from the source of the argument, I stepped several steps backwards and kept well out.

Now of course, I am stuck within 20ft of the problem permanently and it appears that I in fact have become to problem - they simply don't like me. This I know because my oh-so-honest partner unfortunately sometimes lack any sense of tact and therefore passes on these snippets of hatred towards me in his own annoyance at his parents. Apparently they think I am 'quiet' and 'too serious' and 'not right for their little prince' (vomit) and 'don't cook him dinner every night' (i'm sorry, are well still in the 1950s?). The fact that they know very little about me has obviously slipped their radar and judgement has been passed........oh well.

The problem of course comes in that I care very little (in fact the expression DILLIGAF comes to mind) of their actual opinion of me but what I do care about is my hubby-to-be. He wants everyone to get on famously and exchange cake recipes or some such nonsense. But it is upsetting to him, and this makes me angry at them, which leads to me disliking them almost as much as they dislike me.

So I try very hard to be nice, to make them like me, and be as social as possible. However, throw a wedding planning into the mix and I am about ready to bash both the in-law to be's heads together until they are unconscious. I simply cannot do anything right. me and fiance agree on something, his parents dislike it and of course I get the blame - heaven forbid it be anything to do with their precious son - it must be the evil monster who is taking him away from them (has anyone else noticed me breathing fire and eating live lambs at the weekend?)

The question then, of course, is why we struggle to get along so much when said fiance should share at least some personality traits with his parents having been born from them - and if he loves me why can they not manage even to like me, and me them.

Well the problem on my side is simple - it seems that the only personality traits passed to their children were the annoying ones.

On their side, it seems to be a case that his mum simply cannot allow her little boy to grow up. She resents the fact that their is another woman in his life and sees herself as replaced. (which of course is ridiculous, I am permanently telling said fiance that I am not his mother and will NOT do his washing!) His dad I think, resents the fact that his mum is put out because she gets moody with him and then he gets annoyed at what is making her moody - me!!

All this time of course, I practice my pleases and thankyous and a level of self restraint that would rival that of a hungry cat in a cage of mouses not eating any. Because of course if I say anything, it will all be my fault, and then I will be resented on all sides for causing problems - especially since my partner would likely stick up for me. Predictably, total chaos would ensue.

So its probably a good thing that we only have 5 weeks of living with them left. Good for my nerves. and good for those mice.

If anyone has any suggestions on how to keep the hungry cat at bay - answers on a postcard.....!